CHANGE. I have never really been a big fan of it. I am the type of person who likes to be rooted. I like to have expectations and know exactly what is going to happen next. I like routine. I like consistency.
In the past month I have been thinking a lot about "change" and how it affects my life. I like to think it is pretty common to dread big changes. They are scary because they are unknown. It seems like right before a "change" is about to happen, I find myself worrying a lot. I feel anxious about it. I often try to fight it from happening. I do this without recognizing and thinking about how the actual outcome might actually affect me.
I have realized that Heavenly Father endorses change!
He does not want us to become stagnant.
He realizes we need new experiences in order to grow.
We need struggles to progress.
As change has been presenting itself in my life, I have been trying to look at it in a different light.... Instead of asking, "Why the heck is this happening to me?", I am trying to ask, "Where does Heavenly Father want me to go?". Instead of resisting, I try to look at the big picture and ask, "Who does Heavenly Father need me to become?" This is not to say that change is now easier for me to accept, or that I have conquered my trial....but it helps me put things in perspective and have a better understanding of Heavenly Father's plan.
It seems like right now, in Brett's and my life, we are constantly being bombarded with changes and decisions. (Brett getting ready to transition from being at student to graduating to starting his working career, being a part from each other for a fourth of the year, lifestyle changes, etc.) To be honest, it is all a little bit scary! As we are encountering these life transitions, we are both trying to put our complete faith in our Heavenly Father's plan, knowing He can see the bigger picture, and trusting in the changes he has ahead for us.
Another big change that happened this past Sunday.... I was called and set apart to be the new young women president in our ward. Talk about overwhelming! (When the Bishop extended the calling to me, I remember looking at him and thinking, "Good one Bishop. Don't you realize I am still a Laurel?"). Talk about changes. When I was initially called, I felt really nervous. Nervous about the responsibility. Nervous about being adequate enough. Although those were my initial feelings, as I was preparing to be set apart I started to think about things in a different perspective.
I am really excited to be able to serve the young women. I am excited to learn from their examples and be touched by their sweet testimonies. Even though I feel very inadequate, I am looking forward to the chance I will be able to lean on my Heavenly Father. To look to Him for support and guidance.
I recognize that this calling will bring a lot of growth and new challenges, and I can't wait.
As I was studying last night I came across this analogy that I loved!
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes to rebuild that house.
At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains
right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew
the jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently,
He starts knocking on the house in a way that hurts abominably
and does not make sense. What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building a different house from the one you thought--
throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor here, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage.
He is building you into a palace."
I know that Heavenly Father loves all of His children.
He sees a potential in us that we cannot comprehend. He knows who we are capable of becoming.
Again, I am really excited about the changes He has in store for me and Brett!
I am realizing now that changes aren't as scary as they seem. They are opportunities.
They are possibilities for growth and spiritual development.
I can't wait to see what is in store for us!