Defining Me...


My oh my.
The few months pushed me to grow in ways I never thought imaginable.
During my senior year of high school I learned the value of a to do list.
From sketching out my future goals, to detailing what I needed to get done the next day,
it was always a pretty big part of my life.
It gave me control and a sense of accomplishment.
I especially loved being on the mission having a
daily plan that was organized to the hour of everyday.

Since being married, working full time, being the yw president, and a full time wife...
well... I don't always have complete control over my days as I might like.

Sometimes the day-to-day tasks seem harder than ever to accomplish.
Sometimes it seems like I am not crossing things off.
Sometimes I compare myself to other girls and feel oh so behind.
Work tasks need to be completed,
Thank you notes still needed to be written,
dinner cooked,
laundry done,
YW tasks complete,
and on and on and on.
Not to mention the little "extras" that I love to do.
I felt like I was "not accomplishing anything."

Gasp.
As soon as the line came out of my mouth I felt terrible for uttering it or even thinking it.
{Although I am sure the thought will cross my mind many-a-time}
I realized I am accomplishing the most important thing in the world every.single.day.
Why is it that silly things like "clean off sewing desk" make it on my to do list -
but being a good wife isn't?
What about -
saying I love you to the people I care about?
Smiling. Enjoying and relishing each moment.
These things are far more important than cleaning my toilets or finishing tidious tasks.
It all seems so clear when I look at the bigger picture.
But how easily it is forgotten.

I am learning to forgive myself for not being able to cross it all off.
For having a mound of laundry and a couple "easy dinners" during the week.
It's all ok.
Because at the the top of my to-list is to be a good wife and woman.
I simply need to slow down
and remind myself that as long as our little family is happy and healthy
I have accomplished just about everything.


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