34 Weeks

be warned - this is a bit of a jumbled emotional post. 

Wow. 
I am a serious emotional wreck.
No joke...
Zillow commercials
singing the Katy Perry, "Roar" song (don't ask)
just looking at Brett
cute little fury creatures
...They get me every time. 

Looking at the pictures above is no different.
I sit here and well up.
Perhaps it is because I am beginning to look and feel like a beluga whale.... just kidding.
I think it is because I am in absolute awe and 
overwhelmed with gratitude for the changes that have taken place in the past 34 weeks.

Taking a step back, I guess you can say it has been one of "those" weeks. 
You know, the type where nothing seems to go your way.
The type where you just want to sit there and complain that the world is against you.
Yes, it has been one of those

As I lay in bed the other night basking in self pity (yes I'll admit it), I realized something. 
Why in the world am I complaining?
I AM SO BLESSED.
I know I sometimes use the word blessed like it is going out of style.
But I don't know how else to describe it. 

I am not saying this to boast or say that my life is perfect.
Because frankly, it's not. 
I am just beginning to slowly realize regardless of circumstances, 
Heavenly Father is so good, loving, and gracious.

I have come to see when you take a step back and recognize the blessings in life, 
it is impossible not to feel happiness and gratitude. 
I guess what I am trying to say is although it seemed like everything was piling up against me this week, 
there is so much I have in my life to make me happy...
Especially for this sweet little one who is growing inside me.

I have watched family members and friends yearn for children - 
many times facing trials I will never be able to understand.

Even Brett and myself struggled getting to the point where we are at now. 
We waited years before being blessed to expand out family. 

All these experiences and examples have helped me value motherhood and pregnancy.
It is beautiful.
It is a true miracle in every sense.
And it is something that does not always come easily. 

I have often found myself wondering, why?
Which is why I have promised myself to enjoy every.single.moment.
The good and the bad. 
It's humbling for me to realize that pregnancy isn't about me. 

I can hardly wait to meet this little guy.
He has already blessed my life in more ways than I can describe.

At week 34 I am just filled with an immense amount of gratitude and love.
Of course for the baby, but especially for my Heavenly Father. 






4 comments:

  1. such a beautiful post courtney! and i hate to break it to you .. but the emotions don't ever go away your babe is born! i still cry over commercials and songs and just looking at my two boys : ) i think becoming a momma increases the waterworks big time .. but it's so fun!! i'm so excited for you!!! so close!!!
    xoxo

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  2. Beautiful post my dear Courtney ! You're going to be a great mommy! With all these printables your kids are going to be in heaven hahaha ;)
    xoxo

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  3. You are an amazing person and I can see that you will be an amazing mother! Hope you have a great weekend! and... thank you for the amazing general conference handout. I have them ready to give to my YW on Sunday.

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  4. i am so so thrilled for you and brett! being a mom is the best. they grow up way too fast...our little lucy is already one. he is so lucky to have you as his mom. you're gonna do great things with him! love you!

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