38 Weeks

Life in the Making: 38 Weeks Pregnant
Praying this is the last pregnant self portrait we all have to endure.

I have a lot of thoughts floating around my head this week.
I am doing everything possible to savor these last weeks of pregnancy...
but in all honesty.... I am ready.
Lets be honest, who isn't at this point?
I am feeling huge and ready to pop.

For the life of me I could never understand why women would complain after 
38 weeks of pregnancy  saying they couldn't wait any longer for their bundle of joy to arrive...
Let's just say, I get it now ladies. I totally get it. 

Just a couple more weeks until my due date.
I am excited, anxious, tired and simply grateful.
Nervous? Absolutely.
But ready to meet this sweet thing.
Ready to experience the miracle of birth and life.

I am trying to go about my normal nesting and quite frankly - I am shocked at how calm I have become in the last bit. 
On Sunday, I was having contractions about 5 minutes a part and seriously thought I might be going into labor. 
I always thought when that time came I would be a panicky mess and Brett would be my rock.
To my surprise I was perfectly calm... (sooooo not me)
and I found myself laughing hysterically at Brett as he looked at me in panic saying,
 "Oh my gosh! I don't have MY bag packed! What should I do!?"
He proceeded to run around the house for the next 20 minutes  
 throwing things into a duffle bag and putting the carseat into the car.
You might say he resembled a chicken with his head cut off.... (sooooo not Brett). 
Obviously, it was a false alarm, but it was great practice and an entertaining morning to say the least. 
I am also happy to say that we are BOTH now 100% ready for when the time comes for us to actually go to the hospital.
Bring it on.

I still feel pretty good for the most part.
I love feeling him move. Even the jabs in the ribs. 
I definitely think that is what i will miss most about pregnancy.
His movements have gone from swift kicks to what feels like squished movements.
His little body pops out right in the middle of my belly and I can't help but giggle.
My belly definitely gets tense and contracts more at night.

We are essentially ready.
I still have a few things I want to complete in his room but that can all be done after.

I am counting down the days until my mom arrives to stay with us. 
We are so lucky to be able to have her help.
I look up to my mother in more ways that I could ever describe.
She is a woman of strength and I pray that I can be half the mother she was to me.
I am so glad that our little man will be able to meet her soon.
I know she will also have such an influence in his life. 

My thoughts are pretty much consumed on the labor and delivery room. 
I think about the moment Brett and I will get to wrap our arms our little guy for the first time. 
I picture the first moments of us together as a family.
Honestly, It is quite emotional for me to think about. 
It seems we have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it is almost here.
I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude and awe.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting and I am coming to truly understand that that Heavenly Father's timing is perfect.
As we waited and hoped to expand our family for years, there were moments that thoughts crossed my mind like, 
"Why can't we have children?"
"Why isn't this happening like it is "supposed" to?"
"How long will we have to wait?"

I never quite fully understood the answer to those questions until now. 
All I can say is that our Heavenly Father's plan is perfect.
That we should never loose faith or hope in Him, because he knows.
He knows our thoughts, our feelings, our concerns... and he also knows best.

I am realizing because of our experiences and because we had to wait -
I have become closer to the Savior and the spirit. 
I have become closer to my dear helpmate and sweetheart.
I have more faith and strength than I thought.
I have more empathy and love for others.
I will cherish the miracle of life more fully. 
...and soon to come - I will be a better mother.

"I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain."
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Today my heart is full of love and gratitude. 


Also! Here is a little peak at the little guy's room!







9 comments:

  1. His room is darling. I love everything about it!

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  2. oh courtney!! his nursery is perfect!! and i am so excited for you!! there really is no feeling similar to the one you will experience after your baby is born. it is one i would be okay with living over and over and over again!
    best of wishes to you guys!!! i'm so excited for you!!
    xox

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  3. Such a precious nursery and you are so sweet! I'm thrilled for every new mother and a little bit jelous that I never get to go back and experience it for the FIRST time ever again. Thanks for your excitement and best wishes for the adventure that is coming your way VERY soon :)

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  4. I feel like I could have written this post myself! I struggled with infertility for years before being blessed with my son (and then 2 more sons and a daughter after him!). My son is 12 now and is still the greatest joy I have ever known (most days!). I am so happy for you and this journey you are about to begin. There is nothing more wonderful. Hugs to you!

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  5. the nursery is beautiful! good luck with everything to come, it's one incredible experience!

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  6. So cute. I love the little details and the afghan! Best of luck!

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