Oliver Aitken: Month Five

Our little boy is growing up too quickly.

 I'll admit that at times I still worry about missing anything he does.  

I am definitely guilty of staying home more than anyone should admit. 

But he's just changing so quickly. 

The other night Brett and I flipped through some old pictures from the past five months and we could hardly believe our eyes.

It's like the changes  happened over night. 

As much as I miss my snuggly newborn, every stage becomes my new "favorite."

 Lets be honest though - every stage is amazing. 

This month I would describe Oliver as very curious and alert.

Although I have noticed he is pretty shy in public. Funny at how that happens at such a young age.

But around the house he is a little spit fire and does not want to sit still.

No more snuggling for us. 

I live for those moments where he falls asleep in my arms. -

 It is rare, but my goodness I love snuggling him close.

Oliver has finally decided solids aren't so bad.

This improvement has made me feel like a new person - I'm telling you! It's in the small things!

He grunts and kicks out of excitement when he sees a spoonful of rice cereal coming right at him. 

He tries to grab the spoon and shove it in his mouth by himself, so I have to pry his fingers off.

He has quite the strong grip I tell you!

He is the most happy in the morning.

He usually doesn't cry very hard when he wakes up and 

when I go into his nursery he is just swinging his legs up and down against the bed in excitement.

The second I pick him up he reaches up and touches my face.

I swear he knows how to kiss as he puts his mouth against my cheeks when he grabs my face.

But that is probably just my own imagination.

He has a new found love for being outside and loves when we go on walks.

Thankfully it has been super warm and we go on 2-3 (45 minute) walks a day - Usually right before nap time.

He is so alert as we walk around and tries to soak in all his surroundings.

I absolutely adore watching him explore and learn about the things that are happening around him.

Such a curious little boy.

Can we talk about this face for a second?

Bright brown beaming eyes.

A huge gummy grin with drool dripping down.

Yes, he is our little miracle.

I am also certain he has my eyebrows.

Bless him.

I say it all the time, but I wish there was a pause button.

I get weepy thinking about how quickly the past 5 months have passed. 

Never has time passed so quickly.

Please someone invent the pause button- and make it snappy!

Oliver Aitken: Month Four

These pictures are a compilation of a couple of tries to get some good shots of this little munchkin.

After several failed attempts, and many blurry photos,

 I decided that there was no need to capture something that just doesn't exist.

Simply put :: Oliver does not sit still.

So, bare with these blurry photos.

His little personality keeps coming out more and more with every single day and I can hardly contain my love.

Some times I squish those chubby cheeks right up next to mine and take a big deep breath in.

I never want to forget these moments.

I am soaking all of him in each and every day.

We had Oliver's 4 month check-up this week, and it could not have gone any better.

He got all of his shots and DID NOT SHED A TEAR (praying I didn't just jinx it)

He weighed 17lbs, which did not surprise me at all... I feel every pound of that as I carry him in his carseat.

I have definitely noticed a HUGE growth spurt in our little boy this month!

99th percentile - Height

70th percentile - Weight

The doctor noted that Oliver is very "alert and curious for his age"

And yes, I would agree.

He wants to be very involved and active in just about every area of life.

I cannot believe how distinct each baby comes.

He most certainly has a little spit fire personality and keeps us constantly laughing.

Breaking news.

We have finally established a routine.

It still isn't perfect... definitely still up at night- but hey it is progress.

I can see how it is benefiting him as we continue to develop our routine.

Wake Up - 7:00 am

4 Daytime Naps (9, 12, 3, and a short cat nap at 5)

Bedtime - 8:00 pm

Nighttime feedings - 1 am & 5 am

He still loves bath time and loves when we hold him in the water.

He frantically kicks is legs and arms like it is going out of style.

Nothing puts a grin on that little boy's face like a big tub of water.

Oliver started flipping over from his back to stomach half way through the month.

I swear I almost had a heart attack when it happened.

Now I am used to it as it happens several times a day as he is playing.

He has no idea what to do once he has turned over ... he usually starts crying after a few minutes.

I am convinced he just wants to move so bad.

Oliver still thinks Mom and Dad are the funniest people in the world.

I'll be sure to remind him of that when he is 15.

He loves when I slowly say, "I'm going to get you" and then tickle him.

He thinks its hysterical.

He is a huge mama's boy.

Sure, it is nice to know he loves me.

But I really want him to show other people how fun he is too.

He is a wild child at home but when he is around other people he gets shy and reserved -

stranger danger setting in?

I worry that with Brett's hours he may cling to me more than him 

so I am trying to let them be together as much as possible on the weekends.

Brett definitely lights up Oliver's world.

Whenever he is home, Oliver finds his voice and locks his eyes on him.

I have never seen anything quite like it.

He adores that man and especially loves when he lays on the ground to play with him.

I tell you what -

we are two very smitten first time parents.

I can say that the jump from 3-4 months was the most significant thus far.

He is definitely more active and involved with us.

Oh Oliver,

we sure do love those bright eyes and beaming grin.

We are soaking in every second and love watching you explore your new world.

Oliver Aitken : Month Three

In Oliver's third month of life his, personality has really started to shine.

He has become our little spit fire.

Everything he does is cracking us up.

We are such first time parents - hanging on every move.

At his last check - up, Oliver weighed 13 lbs 5 oz.

He is almost 25 inches long and I swear growing in length everyday.

No joke - I am pretty sure he jumped from 0-3 to 6 month clothing overnight.

They are definitely baggy on him, but at least his ankles aren't always showing.

Also, during his check-up, he received his first set of shots.

Honestly, I wasn't ready for the consequences of shots.

Oliver handled it like a champ ... I cried like a baby.

Later that night the fever set in.

Oh it was so sad. His first fever of many I suppose.

Poor thing.

Lately, Oliver is always accompanied with a mouth full of drool.

He has also decided that shoving his whole fist in his mouth is the cats meow.

We will basically do anything in this house to get a giggle or a smile out of Oliver.

Often times that leads to Brett and I looking like complete crazy people, but I tell you -

it's worth it.

He has been going down to bed around 7:30 - 8:00 every night. 

He wakes up around 6:30, but still eats about every 2-4 hours in between.

Oliver doesn't even open his eyes to eat at night.

He just gets the job done and then goes right back to sleep.

I haven't really worried too much about a sleep routine - I don't think that is my forte.

I just usually follow his lead - and since we stay in quite a bit - a natural pattern has kind of formed.

His sleeping isn't perfect, and I am definitely still feeling tired...

but so far we feel okay about our little groove.

In that last few weeks Oliver has really come out of his shell.

He thinks anything his daddy does is hysterical and 

he loves to sit and chat with me in the mornings when we are alone.

I look at pictures and can see how much he is growing.

I have bittersweet feelings about him getting older.

I look at those newborn pictures and ache to hold that sleepy quiet babe.

But as I wish for those moments back 

my sweet little buddy will smile at me and reach to touch my face.

It isn't an easy feat and it requires some serious concentration.

Watching those little fingers move in slow motion to feel my cheeks makes my heart swell.

It just hit me today.

I am his person.

The one who soothes him and makes him feel safe.

It is me he will reach for - forever.

I will fix the boo boo's. The broken hearts and injured egos.

It is my job.

No matter how much training someone else has - 

they can't nurture Oliver like I can.

Not because I am skilled or some super mom.

But because I am HIS mom.

No training or book could have prepared me for his specific personality or spirit.

He was always meant for me and I was meant for him.

As much as that intimidates me, 

(and heaven knows I only have about a billion things to learn)

it brings me the most incredible joy.

That right there - that is joy in it's purest form.

Personal Growth.

In addition to documenting Oliver's growth - I also feel like it's crucial to document my own. 

 My oh my have the last 2 and a half months pushed me to grow in ways I never thought imaginable. 

My whole life I have been obsessed with the "to do lists".

 From sketching out my future goals, to detailing what I needed to get done the next day, it was always a pretty big part of my life. 

It gave me control and a sense of accomplishment. 

But after having Oliver, things are different. 

I don't have complete control over my days.

 Sure, I can try to have a routine or a schedule. 

But I can't expect the meltdowns, the growth spurts, the blowouts or the sleepless nights. 

 The first month of Oliver's life I truly just relished it all. 

I did not make a single to do list.

 I spent a lot of time with my sweet husband and my baby boy. 

It was wonderful. I can't say it enough.

 It was a magical time in our home and in my life.

But eventually I felt like I had to come to grips with the fact that life outside the four walls of my home did exist. 

The day-to-day tasks seem harder than ever to accomplish not to mention the little "extras" that I love to do.
And don't even talk about working out. 

 When Oliver was 10 weeks old I brought back the to do list. 

It needed to happen before I lost my mind. 

But then frustration came. 

I simply wasn't crossing things off. 

I'd compare myself to other girls and feel oh so behind. 

Thank you notes still needed to be written, pictures hung, laundry done, and on and on and on.

As I sit here this afternoon, still in my pajamas and covered in spit up,
the thought crossed my mind, "man I haven't accomplished anything today!"
Immediately I felt terrible even thinking it. 

{Although I am sure the thought will cross my mind many-a-time} 

I am accomplishing the most important thing in the world every.single.day. 

Why is it that silly things like "organize the pantry" make it on my to do list - but being a good mom isn't?
What about - sit on the floor and coo back as many times as he will allow?

 Change diapers.

 Feed. Bounce. Sing. Read.

These things are far more important than cleaning my toilets or going to the gym.

 It all seems so clear when his eyes stare right through me and he gives me the biggest gummy giggle.

 But how easily it is forgotten.


I am not supermom - and I am okay with that.

 I am learning to forgive myself for not being able to cross it all off. 

For having a mound of laundry and 3 day dirty hair.

 It's all ok. 

Because at the the top of my to-list is to be a good wife and mom.

 I simply need to slow down and remind myself that as long as our 

little family is happy and healthy I have accomplished just about everything.

Oliver Aitken: Month Two

I honestly wish someone would have told me to just make it through the first six weeks.

I am quickly learning that there are several major breakthroughs with infants. 

Whether or not these breakthroughs are actually with the babe or with the Mom I am still not sure. 

In his second month of life, Oliver spent the majority of his time in Utah.

We decided to head up to the cold to celebrate the holidays and spend time with family.

To say I was nervous about taking my newborn from 70 degree weather 

to freezing cold conditions is a bit of an understatement... 

Thank goodness for bundleme carseat covers!

It was a real lifesaver as I ran around with Oliver doing last minute Christmas shopping!

Speaking of carseats, he loves being in that thing!

There was about a 10 hour drive from Phoenix to Utah , and he took it like a champ!

Don't let those chubster cheeks fool you. 

In real life Oliver is squishy... but tiny and tall.

I basically just love those teeny rolls all day long. 

He is still in size 1 diapers at this point and wearing 0-3 month clothing...

although he is a little too tall for some of his outfits.

I laughed at church this week when I held him up to a 7 month old and he was the same length.

I guess that is what he gets for having a 6'4 daddy and a 5'11 mommy. 

I am excited to get him to the doctor this week and find out his exact height and weight.

Sleeping at night is still a no go.

He wakes about every 2.5-3 hours.

I have skimmed a few books on sleeping theories. 

Lets be honest - I should really sit down and read one and make a plan. 

 But for the most part I am just trying to do what works for us. 

I plan on starting a night time routine this week, 

and hopefully we will see some results in the next few weeks.

The mornings are his happiest time. 

I swear I could lay and watch those smiles all day long.

Keep em' coming Oliver. 

After Brett leaves in the morning, I usually transfer Oliver in bed with me. 

It's our little tradition.

He is usually wide awake from 9-10:30 and oh how I cherish the time.

As of late, Oliver would rather be sitting or standing than laying on his back.

He is starting to find that his hand fits nicely in his mouth.

Boy oh boy, are those things a slobbery mess.

This little boy's grin is contagious. 

At four weeks he started smiling, but around 2 months it really started settling in. 

He smiles all.the.time. 

He has even started to stop eating and look up at me and smile. 

Honestly, it makes my world stop. 

That is what having a baby is all about. 

Before we left Utah, he was laying on the bed and Brett and I were laying in front of him. 

I was teasing Brett and we were laughing about something. 

Suddenly we both looked at Oliver.

 It was as if he was so happy to see that his parents adore each other.

 He was smiling this huge grin and then let out a loud coo and giggle.

 It was the first time he had really laughed. 

It was by far my favorite moment the three of us have had together.

 Goodness it was wonderful.

I will be the first to admit, motherhood is hard. 

I'll definitely be posting about the adjustment soon. 

I don't think adjusting is something we should be ashamed of.

 Its a big life change. If it weren't hard - it wouldn't be glorious. 

And boy is it glorious. 

I can already see Oliver's personality shining through.

 He is genuinely happy to see me when he wakes up.

 He is social. 

He likes it when people smile and talk to him. 

He likes to be in on the action. 

He likes to play with his Daddy and be comforted by Mommy. 

He is perfect in every single way and worth all of the early mornings and hours of bouncing.
We love you little Ollie.

Name and a Blessing: Oliver Hughes Aitken

Yesterday, December 29, Oliver received a name and a beautiful blessing, performed by his Daddy. 

It was such a beautiful day and one I hope to always remember.

Even though we were surrounded by people. one of my favorite moments of the blessing day 

was in the morning as the three of us got ready for church.

As Oliver lay on the bed watching mom and dad get ready, he continued to grin from ear to ear. 

As I looked down at him smiling and laughing, I was reminded what a little miracle he is.

Words can't describe how much joy Oliver has brought to our lives. 

It was a special morning to watch my husband, his father and my own father 

stand in a circle to give him a name and blessing that will carry him through this life.

Brett gave him a beautiful blessing and I felt that this little one's Heavenly Father has a lot in store for him.

{You can read about baby blessings in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints here}

I was so worried Oliver was going to cry through the whole thing, but he didn't make a peep.

Miracles do happen.

When we were dating I was pretty convinced that Brett was anything but emotional.

Quite contrary.

Since this little guy has come to our family, things really get to him.

He's one big softy when it comes to our little family and the gospel.

Blessing Oliver was no different.

The sweet scalloped blanket was crocheted by Michelle for Oliver.

It is something I know we will hold onto for years and cherish.

The day was pretty busy with other events and we didn't really have a big "tadoo" after church.

It was probably the reminder that this sometimes "over-the-top" Mama needed.

Oliver's blessing day was just perfect and looking back I wouldn't change a thing.

:::

We sure do love this little boy.

It is amazing how children come at a specific time for a specific purpose.

We can already see exactly why Oliver was supposed to come when he did.

He has brought a spirit into our home that would not have been possible without him

and at a time when it is definitely needed.

At times I look at him and wonder what he can remember about those moments before he came.

I remember right after Oliver was born and I was out and about one day a woman came up to me and said,

"What a pure thing in an evil world."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

He seems so close to God and we can feel it in our home daily.

You are our little miracle Oliver and we feel blessed beyond belief because we get to call you ours.

Oliver Aitken: Month One

9 lbs. 2 oz.

22.5 Inches

My itsy bitsy Oliver turned one month old this week.
We kept him alive and healthy for one month people!
I am feeling like that is quite the accomplishment.

I have a lot of blogging to catch up on but I wanted to write down a few... 

ok... a lot, of things about Oliver during his first month of life. 

I don't blame you for not reading these - it is mostly for my purposes. 

I am sure they will get shorter with each month.

Everyone says he looks like his dad. 

I agree completely and love it.

 I really can't see any of me in him. Aitken baby for sure.

He has more hair on the back of his head than in the front and has random long spots. 

At times his eyes look a little green, but they are still in the "grayish" stage.

He is a complete mama's boy at this point. 

I can't tell you how much it melts my heart. 

He is still in newborn diapers, and up until last week, was wearing newborn clothes.

However, recently we had to move up to 0-3 month clothing simply because of his length!

I am shocked at how long he has gotten! Our little string bean.

He despises his binkie. Although he loves to suck. Go figure.

Sometimes I catch him sucking on his thumb.

It is pretty darn cute - although the dentist would probably say otherwise. 

He loves to eat. 

He turns his head to let us know he is hungry. 

Right now I am nursing and also supplementing with formula (due to a low milk supply)

When he does eat from a bottle, he attacks it with his mouth (throws head side to side)

and pulls the bottle towards his face using all his strength in his arms and hands.

As he eats he loves to grunt. It cracks Brett and I up. Weird and funny.

He falls asleep best when his head is on my chest and he is in the froggy position. 

He constantly keeps his hands up by his face - he was like that in his ultrasounds.

He loves to be sung to, especially primary songs.

Sometimes he likes being swaddled - sometimes not.

He LOVES being in the water. Bath time is an all time favorite in this household.

He does not spit up (hope I didn't just jinx myself).

He likes to be in his carseat and loves rides in the car.

He has had baby acne for about 10 days but we think it is going away.

He has had several blowouts.

He has also managed to pee all over Brett and I one morning 

as we were both trying to change his diaper and remained completely dry himself.

Classic.

I told my Dad that he is really advanced with how well he can hold his head up - I swear he is. 

He laughed and said "And so it begins - you already believe your kid is a superstar." 

I'd have it no other way.

Sleeping is definitely not his strong suit. 

We are up to three hours like clock work. 

Yes - I am tired. But I am SO grateful to have such an amazing helpmate. 

Even though Brett is back at work (he had three weeks of paternity which was pure bliss),

he never complains and helps out with the feedings every night.

I realize this is not always the "norm", and feel SO grateful for his help.

He is so selfless and NEVER complains of being tired.

I love overhearing Brett singing to Oliver through the walls late at night. 

The amount of tenderness and love that fills his heart for that little boy is so apparent.

I'm telling you - if anyone deserves a "Father of the Year" award, it is that man.

Words can't describe my love for him.

At around two weeks Oliver started looking around. 

I still remember the first time he looked deep into my eyes.

Honestly, from my experience, there is no better feeling in the world. 

Let's just say I am obsessed with this little face and think he is a great baby

{despite his sleeping habits} but maybe I am partial.

Now that we are on our own during the day, 

we are learning how to navigate through every day tasks like showering, cleaning and going to the store. 

I will admit - it is harder than I thought.

 I've laughed a lot - cried quite a bit - but loved every.single.second of his first month of life.

 I can only pray he has too.

A Birth Story: Oliver Aitken

{I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I wanted it for my records}

For weeks I had a feeling I would deliver early. Everyone told me I was crazy and that first time pregnant mothers typically deliver later than their actual due date. Regardless, I knew he would be joining our family sooner than later and I was prepared for the arrival of our little boy.

My mom flew in a week before my actual due date. As soon as she arrived we worked hard to quicken my labor... and when I say worked hard - I mean worked HARD. Our days were consumed with miles of walking, galloping around Target and the mall, eating spicy food, more walking, squats, walking up hills and curbs, drinking castor oil, foot massages, and more walking. Although I had been experiencing pretty consistent contractions since the day of her arrival, it seemed that regardless of what I did, my labor didn't seem to progress much. I was adamant that I didn't want to go to the hospital until I felt like the contractions were too intense to bear. My biggest fear was to be sent home in false labor. 

On Wednesday morning, and after yet another long night of contractions, my mom and I decided to go on another walk to distract me.  I truly cherished every second I got to spend with my mom before I delivered our little one. I will always look back at those moments as some of the sweetest I have shared with her. As I prepared to experience the miracle of life, I looked at my own mother in a whole new light. I am so grateful for the time that I was able to spend with her and for her sweet words of wisdom and encouragement. I realized in those moments if I could be half the mother she was to me, I would be a success. 

The remainder of the day was spent relaxing with two of the people I love the most... Brett and my mom. The three of us shared so many laughs together which was just what the doctor ordered. Those two kept me calm and upbeat regardless of the pain I was feeling. As we went to bed that night, we joked about the baby coming the following day, October 31. Halloween. My mom said I would deliver the cutest "little goblin". 

Around 1:00 am, I woke up in a lot of pain. I quickly got up and tried walking around to see if the pain would subside... it didn't. My contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and increasing in intensity with every second. I quickly woke up Brett. "It's time," I whispered. Brett was so excited. I have never seen him jump out of bed so fast. As Brett ran around the house packing up our things, waking up my mom, etc. I quickly jumped in the bathtub. Not only did the water feel great, but it was also wonderful to be able to shave my legs before heading to the hospital (the things you worry about during labor--- am I right?)

As I started to blow dry my hair, the contractions began moving to my back. I had to stop every few minutes and hang myself over the bed. My mom and Brett continued to time the contractions. 2-3 minutes apart. Before I knew it, we were in the car and off to the hospital. Once at the hospital, the nurse checked my dilation. 3 centimeters. I was devastated. This was the same size I had measured at my doctors appointment 2 days earlier. "How is that possible with all these contractions I am having!?" I asked the nurse. There was no real answer. After an ultrasound and some waiting, the nurse stated that she thought it was best I go home and rest up. I burst out in tears. My biggest fear was coming true. I didn't want to rest. I was in pain and was ready for our little boy to come. Unfortunately, it was not my decision. I was sent home with a shot of Morphine for the pain and Ambien to help me rest. 

During the car ride home, I was a complete mess. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. As soon as we walked in the door I ran to the bathroom to throw-up. The combination of the ride home and the pain medication didn't settle with my stomach well. After cleaning up, Brett and I crawled into bed to get some rest as the nurse had suggested. 

About an hour later, I woke up with some of the worse pain I had ever experienced. I lay there thinking to myself, "Okay...Is THIS it?". I tried to convince myself that I was making it all up. There was no way I was going to be sent home again. I needed to know for certain I was in active labor. 2 seconds later - GUSH. My water broke. Then BAM - the contractions came on 10 times stronger. I curled into a ball in tears. Brett counted me through each contraction, rubbing my back and holding my hand. I knew he was going to be a good coach. 

Although I was in pain, Brett and I were able to share a sweet moment as husband and wife in between contractions. I won't ever forget it. Standing in our bedroom. Me leaning on Brett. Our lives were about to change forever. As things were whirling around us, we stood still for a moment to take it all in.

And then we were off. As we drove to the hospital I could hardly sit in my seat. I sat in the backseat with my mom holding onto her for dear life. Brett drove as quickly as possible through traffic (i later found out that he weaved in and out of traffic with speeds upward of 100 mph - so glad I didn't notice). 

When we pulled up to the hospital, I was quickly whisked away in a wheelchair. The nurses worked so fast to hook me up to the monitors and to check my dilation. 3.5 centimeters. The pain was insane. I looked at Brett and said, "I can't do this." Surely I was in for the long haul. Brett sweetly held my hand and reminded me that I could do hard things. How grateful I was that he was by my side. He was right. I can do hard things. Contractions were just 60 seconds and I could get through them. 

I was certain I was going to be sent home, but to my surprise I was rushed to a labor and delivery room. Within a half hour I received an epidural, and was in heaven. Seriously - my demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. Nothing but smiles (and the picture below proves it). 

Within a matter of hours, I had dilated to a 9. Shock and sheer joy set in. I can do this I thought again to myself. Sweet Brett had tears in his eyes already. He said - We are doing it! The nurse quickly ran to get my doctor. It was about 4:15 pm. Everything happened so fast after that point. My doctor quickly checked me and asked if I was ready to push. It was then that it hit me that my life was about to change forever. I was ready. I had been preparing my whole life for this moment.  

Brett was the best coach. Looking back on it now, I think it was one of the best hours of our marriage. We worked as a team. Never once getting frustrated. I still can't believe it. We get frustrated over how to fold the laundry - yet now we were both completely calm. Brett talked me through it, held my hand and leg, and looked me dead in the eyes. I will never forget the moments his eyes were set on mine. I was never so sure of us as in those moments. He never let go of me. Ever. He kept saying, "You're doing it."

I also felt overjoyed that my mom was there to witness and share this special moment. She stood by my side the entire time, encouraging me and showering me with so much love. She would hold by head as I pushed and continually reminded me what I was capable of. I will never forget looking up at her, seeing tears in her eyes as she looked down on me and said, "I am so proud of you Coco. So proud of you."

As I pushed I thought I might throw up. I think I remember my mom asking if it was normal for my face to turn so red. Ha. All hopes of looking good in pictures were now off. I didn't care. I was sweaty and gross. I began to feel those strong contractions again. People were pouring into our room with all types of contraptions. Prior to labor, I had always been worried about "pushing", but I was grateful to find that it came very natural. My doctor was extremely calm and kept telling me I was doing great. I loved hearing her cheer me on.

In between pushing I would always take a second to stop to smile. It was happening. Really happening. I wanted to take in and cherish every second. I felt like we had waited so long for this little miracle to arrive, and I did not want to take the moment for granted. I was overjoyed with gratitude and happiness. After pushing for about a half hour, the doctor realized the baby was faced posterior (hence the awful contractions in my back). She took a moment to turn the baby. Once the baby was turned, things were easy and he came fast.

Brett was still to my right and being as sweet as could be. The baby's head was crowning. "Give it one more push," the doctor told me. I did... and he came out. He let out a huge cry and I knew he was my son. It was 5:36 pm.

The next few minutes of my life will forever be etched in my memory. I cry just typing about it. The pain was instantly gone - or out of my mind. I have never felt so much joy. There we were - the three of us. I never imagined something so sacred and powerful. It is true what they say - the veil was incredibly thin. I don't think I remember anyone else in that moment. Just our little family. We were both extremely emotional. I kept saying, "He is so perfect. We are so lucky. He is our miracle." And Brett stroked my head whispering, "you did it. you did it." Our little boy calmed down the moment he hit my skin. We talked to him. Comforted him and told him we loved him - over and over and over again. This little face brought us sheer happiness. The moment was so perfect. The moment we finally became parents.

We snuggled him for about 15 minutes. We took it all in. It was the quickest 15 minutes of my life. 

Looking back on it now, I had been so nervous about the delivery... but it was truly the greatest thing. If I could, I would do it 100 times over again. I am beyond amazed at how miraculous the human body is. The miracle of life is permeating our lives and we couldn't be happier. 

As we snuggled as a family, Brett turned to me and said, "I think I know his name." "Me too," I responded. It was a magical moment calling Oliver by his name for the first time. 

We quickly called our families to share the news. One of my favorite moments was calling my dad. I cried as I shared the news. "I just wanted to let you know that you are now a pumpa." All I heard were sniffled tears on the other end as I shared the news. I love how sentimental my dad is.

Soon enough, they moved us to a new room. We settled in together as a new family. It was a blissful, foggy, Thursday evening. 

We were not expecting any visitors since we don't have any family in AZ. We also knew Gary and Michelle would be coming in a couple weeks and didn't know whether or not my Dad would be able to get off work.. so when we got word that my Dad had made arrangements to come down the following day, we were thrilled.

Friday evening, I cried when my Dad poked his head in our hospital room. I am quite the Daddy's girl and was over the moon to have him there with us. It was love at first sight for him too. I was also surprised to see my little brother walk through the door. I shed a few tears to have everyone together. They gushed over how small his little body was and each took turns holding Oliver. 

I love these photos. I think their faces say it all. Proudest Nana, Pumpa, and Uncle around.

After my parents and brother left, the three of us shared our first night together. I won't lie - it was STRESSFUL. Oliver pretty much cried the entire night and I could hardly move due to the aftermath of the delivery. Each time he cried I was slightly caught off guard when the nurses would hand him over to me. Why me? I don't know what I am doing!? Although I didn't quite understand it at first, I slowly began to realize that no one could comfort Oliver like I could. This was something I did not anticipate. The instant connection was powerful beyond belief. I was a mom in a split second. He knew me and I knew him. It was a mutual love. I'll be sure to remind him of this when he is 15.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt to come home with Oliver. Brett and I were no longer just a couple. We were a family. Our home felt different. It was a warm sunny Arizona day...and as the light poured in our car as we drove home, I could not help but feel a little closer to heaven. It was over 3 years ago when Brett and I had decided it was time to start adding to our family. The answer was so simple and clear. And now I know why. I cannot believe we have been entrusted with such a sweet spirit in our home. To be honest - it completely frightens me at times. But that feeling I felt when we stepped foot in our home with the newest family keeps me moving forward. 

Oliver was meant for us at this time. It is overwhelming how right this is.

Welcome home Oliver.

Please bear with us as we learn to be your parents.